Not too long ago a reader asked us how she should dress for crazy mom-life and still look cute. I don’t know about you but this question has definitely crossed my mind more than once since I have been in the trenches of motherhood.
For years, I thought that motherhood and style were mutually exclusive. I had to sacrifice one to be good at the other. Fellow Mamas, this just isn’t true!! We need to take care of ourselves in order to be the best we can be for our babes.
If your best self has her hair done, makeup on, and is rocking a cute lewk, than you need to do you! Unapologetically! Your child will survive (and even thrive!) watching an episode (or 2) of Daniel Tiger while you get ready. Even if it’s not until 2pm that you even can get ready (trust me, I know those days).
At the very least in those newborn months, your best self has washed her face, brushed her hair, and brushed her teeth. Commit to doing even just that for yourself and your family each day. And I don’t mean that in that they have to look at a disheveled Mama. Rather, that I know from experience that not brushing your hair or teeth for more than a day (or 2, I got zero sleep, ok people!) wears you down.
Here’s what I would tell my 24 year old self, concerning style and motherhood.
1. Don’t Lose Yourself
As Garance Dore says in her book Love Style Life, “Losing yourself only takes a second, but finding your way back can take years.”
Motherhood does not have to be a death sentence for your personal style. If style or “looking cute” is something that is important to you, you have to know this.
Sure an excuse for yoga pants, no makeup, and a messy bun feels good at first. But it feels awful four years later when you don’t remember yourself apart from those yoga pants.
Protect that part of yourself. If sweats or leisure wear feels necessary those first few months, treat yoself to some matching sets that align with your style. (This is actually a great gift for new moms too!)
Make it your goal to change into something fresh each day, wash your face, brush your teeth and brush your hair. If makeup is yo thing, practice a 10-15 min routine for newborn life. Commit that time to yourself each day. Who doesn’t have 10-15 min?!
It all might feel unnecessary when you are gonna spend your days breastfeeding around the clock and changing poopy diapers. But it doesn’t hit you until hindsight kicks in just how necessary it is!
2. Buy Clothes That Fit
I cannot stress this one enough. Why didn’t anybody warn me about this aspect of motherhood?! Even though my baby weight fell off after my first babe (don’t hate me, I wasn’t as lucky the second time around) I still had to go up a few sizes in pants for several months to make room for my new hips. Haha!
Give your body lots of love and grace for that postpartum period. Don’t beat it down by hiding it in oversized clothing or trying to squeeze into pre-baby clothes.
3. Be Aware of Your Environment
Now my children are both potty trained and nobody is crawling around on the ground, so adapt this for your phase of parenting. I like to keep in mind where I am heading with my boys. For example, if we are headed to the park and my partner isn’t along to rescue the child that might climb up the rock wall but inevitably won’t want to come back down the slide, I’m likely not going to go for a mini skirt. Am I right?!
I also take the weather and terrain into consideration. If I’m going to be outside in dirt or its rainy, I’m not going to reach for my suede boots that could be ruined. That actually sounds like a great opportunity to style my rain boots!
Since I have been keeping these things in mind, I really don’t feel like I have to compromise my style ever just because of motherhood.
4. Stay in Your Lane
In talking to my mama, I recognize that mom-shame has always been around in some way, shape, or form. The internet age makes it feel so in your face though.
Here’s the thing. Stay in your lane and protect your mind. Inevitably there will be some vocal group that thinks they are better than mamas who to wear makeup and look nice even in the trenches of motherhood. I felt this pressure so so strongly.
But the reality is that unless we train it to do otherwise, our mind will look to prove the negativity you feel. Know that there are just as many mamas out their who embrace their love of makeup and style, and continue to care for themselves in that way even in motherhood.
Find your tribe but also give yourself permission for your version of motherhood to not look like anybody else.
Do you do motherhood in style?!
Tell us do you love makeup and style but felt pressure to sacrifice those things as a new mom?! Did it affect you negatively? How have you found your way back to yourself?